Finally found God!

Ready for a roller coaster ride? Clench up those nuggets!

We have those religious fanatics who yell at the top of their voices to promote and market their version of god.
why versions? well let me put it this way, consider a guy, battered by events around him, married, for good measure and at one point of time in his life he reaches a point where he sees things around him/ but is unable to act upon them. Call it a curse of the times that we live in. The generation gap between the people around him doesn’t allow them to love each other but they all love this guy all the same.

Well on one side is the spouse who believes him to be her guardian angel, there are two parents who love him more than their own lives but are on the brink of a divorce and addition to that lets assume there are discrepancies and misunderstandings between the spouse and her in laws regarding almost every possible issue that they can ever think of.

Step number 1. Come back out of this family drama and let’s take this insane looking concept and apply it to our religious views. Now we have three people who love and adore one person who is the so called bringer of the daily bread at home. They all love him but they fail to love each other.

Step number 2. Put yourself in that guy’s shoes and take a mug full of coffee and head out in the balcony. Think about it, how god must feel watching at us pathetic assholes. LOL

Damn it we all love him! if you use an islamic or a hindu or a christian or whatever brand of religious soap to wash away your sins, you adore your god and believe in him more than anything.
B when it comes to bathing with more than one soap you suddenly are a weirdo!
And then there is again the beloved fantasy of most people to be bathing together but considering current events and widespread hatred towards other soaps that you don’t buy; that is never gonna happen.

so now continuing with step 2. now if you have put yourselves in that guys shoes (God’s shoes!) You might very clearly see the helplessness of that poor guy who is loved by all. Do you really need all that love? Even if they don’t love you, you will always look out for them nonetheless! All you need is some bloody peace of mind! Which you (in other words that guy) will get when every ones mingles with each other.

Considering this whole dysfunctional world as a family at war within each other. This god is already a part of that war and has to fight from everyone’s side! If you are a mujahideen trained to go yalla yalla and boom! or you are a green beret or a spetznaz or an Indian para commando killing machine you still pray to your god before an assault and the guy with the biggest gun wins and then thanks his god for protecting him and bringing him victory!
But the dying man never cusses his god saying “yo nigga you let me down brother!”

A while ago I read somewhere that when a man belonging to a certain religion dies in name of his brand of god; his branch of heaven has 72 pre-installed virgins waiting for him up there ( or down there ) well (their) god knows! My question is what if those 72 virgins are gay giants? Damn! that is one messed up heaven isn’t it? This same situation can be easily applied to our family crisis example. If four people believe in four possible outcomes in life not one will succeed in getting them! Instead when one person preaches the four morons to follow one collective goal they all succeed and instead of implementing those laid out rules to be happy and spread love they keep jacking off to their messiah!

Religion is nothing but one big joke! It’s jus like hating your own god just because someone else calles him by some other name!
Look at the Koran! read it already and I loved it! It has the best ways to find god within yourself! The Gita tells you to find god in everything you see! And all the manually edited (and all improved) testaments of the bible have one big concept of having faith and doing good for good will only come back to you!

but no! all you gotta do is go hunting! Hunting for a guy that is gullible enough that you can pour your concept onto him if he agrees, he’s family! if he doesn’t then he’s blasphemy!

Well dear fanatics! the joke is on you!

The Waterman!